Co-parenting with your ex, if they are a ‘true’ narcissist (someone who would qualify for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder), is an impossible dream. And sadly, the very experts within the family court system who are supposed to protect your children have no understanding of this immutable fact. Instead, across the world, they blame both parents for their inability to cooperate regarding the children, which often leads to court orders that place families at an increased risk of harm.
Narcissists don’t co-parent – they ‘counter-parent’, using constant disagreements about the children to weaponise them against their ex (often simultaneously enlisting the family court itself as a further hapless tool of their abuse). And why do they do this? As a way to procure ‘narcissistic supply’ (the fuel they constantly need in order to feel emotionally safe) – from their most reliable source of it – you.
In this book, the third of the Narcissists in Divorce series, narcissism expert Dr Supriya McKenna takes a deep dive into the effects of narcissistic parenting upon children, and shows you how to counteract the damage.
She describes the most effective ways to communicate with your ex, to limit and manage their behaviors, and explains why the family legal system is so dangerous when it comes to cases involving narcissists. With strategies to help you avoid the legal system, Dr Supriya also empowers you to take control of the narrative if you do become stuck in court proceedings. This book contains sections on evidence gathering and dealing with social workers, and she breaks down exactly how (and whether) to request a psychological assessment of your ex through the family court.
Dr Supriya leaves no stone unturned. She includes a chapter detailing how to best prevent the children from being used as weapons of long-term post-separation abuse (including ‘parental alienation’), and provides a thorough parenting plan, designed to shut down the possibility of future conflict.
The information in this book can also be found in Dr Supriya’s much larger compendium volume, Narcissists in Divorce: From Leaving to Liberty – The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth, which deals with all aspects of narcissistic divorces, including the financial considerations.